“I’m trying to get you to a place where when people don’t like you, it doesn’t even bother you anymore. Why? Because you’re not concerned with trying to make them happy, you’re concerned with trying to make yourself happy.” –Eric Thomas
The other day I was having a conversation with a friend. It wasn’t about anything all too deep at all, it was just a chat about work. At one point in the conversation I had mentioned how after 8 years of service in my industry, I had never had a customer complaint. My friend responded with, “you should be less cocky.” I was rather caught off guard for a moment, but then I asked them what was cocky about the statement. My friend went on to say, “it’s not good to always be so confident in yourself, and it offends people who aren’t as confident as you.” This is where the conversation got interesting. The concept that confident individuals can offend others who have lower self-esteem isn’t new.
But why is that?
By simply walking tall, does it hurt others? What is it about confident individuals that offends us? The truth of the matter is that when we see others succeed, while we view ourselves as not, we feel uncomfortable. When someone has something we want such as, money, looks, fame, or whatever it is you desire, we by nature become envious, and so we nitpick. It’s the same concept that tabloids operate under. They highlight, and then scrutinize celebrities for our amusement, all while acting as though they themselves are infallible.
As reported by the Health of Leadership Foundation, by the age of 10, 80% of children have developed a fear of becoming over weight. Often times this is rooted in insecurities and can lead to the scrutiny of others over their weight. The issue here however, is not the obesity or eating disorders that people develop (although yes, that is important as well), but rather, it’s peoples level of self-esteem.
This week’s video by Basquiat Picasso features an excerpt dealing with this exact phenomenon. At the 00:49 mark, the speaker talks about those people that we consider to be successful. He highlights how we tend to tear them down to save our own egos in order to make ourselves feel comfortable.
This week’s takeaway:
You will never be able to please everyone, so be sure to be pleased with yourself.